Almost Christmas

In November I received an email from Nolan informing me that Pat, my friend in London, was in very grave condition in a London hospital. This was followed by a beautiful email from her that called out for me to go and see her. We have been friends for fifty-four years and it was important for me to spend time with her when she needed me, and it was worth the effort. There is no friend so important as an old friend. In Pat I revisit myself and my family because she was there with me all those years ago. I was still in the process of assimilating the very sad state of affairs when Maya offered to pay my airfare so I could go. Maya had sensed how serious the situation was and provided the push that propelled me into action. Within days I had organized the trip.

I have just returned from Europe after three weeks of sad and happy times with friends and family. It was the trip I never believed possible because of my health but I did it. I pushed myself further than I believed my body could handle, fibromyalgia notwithstanding.

The three weeks abroad were divided so that I would spend week one in London with Pat. That is what I did. I devoted every day but one to visiting with Pat in the hospital. I explained to Pat and Nolan that this week in London was to be with Pat, not visiting the Tate, the Courtaulds Gallery, or any other attraction.
I did take one break to visit Gillian at the Iron Bridge Museum in Telford where she is now Assistant Curator. It was lovely seeing her again thriving in her work environment. She is such a positive and intelligent person. I spent the night in her delightful little cottage in Shrewsbury before heading back to London and Pat's bedside the next morning.

Pat was very ill, but better than I had expected. I had come to say good-bye, and discovered that life is not so clear as all that. She has been diagnosed with Myaloma which is a terminal cancer but just how long she has will depend on the type of Myaloma and the treatment involved. I left London exhausted and stressed from the physical demands that London made and the emotional demands of the situation.

I discovered that London is not for the elderly or infirm. It is too big and busy for me now. I like a slower pace in my sunset years.
For that reason and so many others, I was overjoyed to arrive in Rotterdam for the second week, where I stayed with good friends Quita and Frank to recover my strength. It was the perfect transition from the stress in London to a more relaxed life in Rotterdam. Quita and I spent a day in Amsterdam, and a day in my home town, Den Haag.

Looking backward can inflate memories of places such as The Passage in Den Haag. I always see it as a glittering jewel of urbane sophistication in my memory. But in today's world it seems much smaller, and the glitter a little tarnished. Mauritshouse, is however, as beautiful as I remembered it. Den Haag still is an elegant and stately city.
I discovered Rotterdam and really like its more down to earth and folksy qualities. Frank and Quita live in a beautiful home on the shore of a small lake in Rotterdam, quiet, elegant and so close to everything. Life is truly easy with everything within walking or biking distance. I relaxed completely under Quita's care.
The week in Rotterdam was heavenly. Frank and Quita took very good care of me and I arrived well rested for my last week in Hernen with the family de Sonnaville. We go very far back, our families being close and sharing some exceptional history together. Martien is like my kid sister, Jan and her children are like true niece and nephews.
That final week at Jan and Martien's wonderful heritage farm house was the icing on the cake. This wonderful restored old farm was my Godfather's home. I remember visiting Nel and Oom Steen there for rest and restoration before Martien was born. It was the place I went to when I needed healing - my spiritual home. Now with my godfather gone, I'm the elder, the Tante from Canada and Martien turns to me for counsel and solace. Although we are family by choice not blood, still this transference of roles is a normal progression in life.

It was Sinterklaas week so I took part in family festivities and loved it. Leo being eight, still believes in Sinterklaas so we went to elaborate lengths to keep the mystery going. I was overcome with tenderness when Leo put my shoe out with his. He put a letter to Sinterklaas in his shoe which read:
"Dear Sinterklaas, I am writing to remind you that Claire is here from Canada. You don't go to Canada, so you may not know Claire. She has been very good, so please leave something for her too.
Thank you,
Leo"
How lucky I am to have had this opportunity to be with family and friends again.

Travel abroad is not for the faint of heart in today’s world. The airport routine alone is unbearable. The three hour advance arrival, security check, and immigration and customs at the destination can make the combined waits on the ground longer than the time in the air. The KLM flight attendants try very hard to make the airtime as pleasant as possible under very difficult circumstances. Still it’s a long way from what I experienced as the daughter of the founding representative of KLM in Canada. My dad would be appalled by conditions today. Economy class is today’s version of steerage. Instead of being crammed below deck, we are now crammed into child sized seats with no leg room, and no comforts.

In a word, air travel sucks. I was able to get assistance to and from the gates on a golf cart and was seated in advance of the others. My cane got me those little comforts. My suitcase was overweight (filled with Christmas gifts from abroad) but the check-in attendant waived the fee. Bless her kind heart. So often throughout this trip, I thought of the Tennessee Williams play “A Streetcar Named Desire” when Blanche Dubois says “I’ve always been dependent on the kindness of strangers”. There was the man in a London tube station that carried my bags up an endless flight of stairs; the station worker who so kindly put me on the right train for Telford after I transferred at the wrong stop; the streetcar conductor in Rotterdam that helped me on and off. As I enter my dotage, I am aware of these kindnesses and appreciate them so very much.

The day after tomorrow Glenn will be collecting me. I'll be away again. This time in London Ontario to spend Christmas with Maya and Glenn in their new apartment. I'll be gone for a week and I look forward to some quality time helping the kids organize their home. Willy will be with me, so I won't be worrying about him in my absence.

2009 started out so badly with the loss of two friends just a week apart. It has continued through ups and downs. In November, it looked like Julie was headed for a bad time with her third stroke. She is recovering rapidly and will be coming home for the holidays. Pat has more time than we thought possible in November, and I had the health to be able to go and see her. I was able to enjoy time with good friends in my homeland, and will be celebrating Christmas with my daughter in her home.

It doesn't get much better than that. Merry Christmas everyone.