Proud, happy and D&A

Yesterday Maya received word from the University of Leicester that her thesis was approved and that she has achieved her Master of Arts Degree with Distinction. I cannot describe my feelings at this time. Not only did she achieve this, but as a distance learner while still working full time. She enrolled while working as Asst. Curator of Art, at the Yukon Art Centre. She was then hired by Museum London as full Curator, made that huge trip overland to London ON, two years ago in January, adjusted to a new city and work environment with increased responsibilities and kept working away on her Master's studies. To now see this completed "with distinction" is an awesome achievement. It makes me prouder of her degree than I ever was of my own so many years ago.

Mine didn't come easy either. I was married to Alfie Pinsky when I first wanted to take a Master's Degree in Fine Arts. He had been establishing and building the first MFA program in Canada at Sir George Williams University (now Concordia)and was routinely lauding the achievements of his newly minted MFA graduates while I worked away in my studio preparing for yet another exhibition. In 1967 after "Expo 67" (where I exhibited at Place des Arts), I wanted to take a break and enter the Masters program. Alfie thought that was a bad idea. He felt I should continue sculpting while I had the momentum. I was so tired and isolated but I did what I was told. I stayed in my studio. I had a second great passion - ornithology, and nurtured a dream to take a biology degree, encouraged by Bill Black who was a biology professor and close friend of Alfie's at the time. This too was shot down with advice to stick to what I did best.

One could ask why I listened to him and didn't insist on my own path. It was the sixties and women did still defer to their husbands, but more, I didn't have the confidence to do it without his support. He was the Chair of Fine Arts and I needed his approval to gain admittance to the MFA program, let alone enter a new field entirely. Also, both my parents had died before I was 22 and Alfie was my only family,- mother, father and shrink. I never received any survivor counseling, so I believed my lifeline was my husband. It is sad to reflect that he encouraged such dependence when he should have seen it was also a noose around his neck. I had to leave him completely to get my MFA degree.

We separated in 1969 and I entered Columbia University in New York a year later while he moved a succession of Masters candidates into his bed. Looking back now, I realize it was the only way I could have achieved my independence or had any respect for my own academic achievements. It was a very difficult choice I made but I never regretted it for an instant. As for Alfie, he kept extracting his pound of flesh from me for years thereafter. I paid with my work, the part of me that he found most interesting anyway.

So my darling daughter has completed her MA degree with huge effort and tenacity and I can enjoy her success freely. Mine came with too much baggage to enjoy.

"Sail on my Silver Girl".